Last year, at the start of the year, my floor had a meeting. My RA ran the meeting but would occasionally ask to hear from us. One of the girls in the back seemed awkward and quiet, but vocal. When my RA asked us if we were allergic to any foods so we knew what to avoid cooking in our kitchenette, the girl promptly raised her hand and said "poison ivy." The residents on my floor chuckled and that's how she came to be known as "Poison Ivy" for the rest of the year...behind her back.
I was lucky, I was never bullied.
A name is an important thing. As a popular Hebrew memorial song says, every person has a name that G-d gave him, that his parents gave him, the mountains gave him, his walls gave him, etc.
Since a name is so significant and something that is so close to us, who are we to call people by a name they don't want?
Day 345: When Anonymous Giving Is Not Good
It's the season of Secret Santa...excuse me...Secret Snowman, if we're being politically correct, gift exchanges. The point of these exchanges is to remain anonymous only until we give the gift. In this case, however, we are discussing matters of charitable gifts to our friends.
If we were to withhold our identity when giving our friends monetary gifts, we might embarrass them because they might see everyone as a possible donor who knows of their struggles. Thus, it is better to tell your friend when you are going to help them.
"Judaism is commonly viewed as a legalistic religion, one that puts emphasis on deeds far more than on emotions. How moving and somewhat unusual, then, to find the Talmud expressing this emotional concern: don't give your friend and anonymous gift; rather, let the person know that you love him or her. As the Rabbis understood it, what generally matters more to the recipient than the gift is the caring behind it. That is why most people read the card accompanying a gift before opening it" (473).
Day 346: Do You Owe Your Children an Inheritance?
Take the following story and do with it what you will: http://spiritoftrees.org/honi-and-the-carob-tree
Day 347: "One Who Is Bashful Will Never Learn"
I've spent this entire semester studying educational psychology and looking at how students learn, how teachers teach, and how the two interact. This section resonated with me for a number of reasons:
1) I felt as if R' Telushkin was talking to me just because he used "her" and "she." I am certainly not one to hold back asking a question if I am confused but, on the other hand, sometimes it's scary to ask a question, especially in a big lecture. So to be reminded that a good student can be respectful and still aggressive was a positive thing for me to read.
2) A good teacher has students who challenge her so that the teacher does not stop growing either.
3) Apparently there's an old Jewish proverb that teaches "Nobody ever died from a question."
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