Reflections and Trickery

Day 28: Shabbat

This week proved to be a lot of mental work. Lots of changing the way I think and I really enjoyed it.

• If You Have a Bad Temper (1 and 2): I actually found a really relevant quote from the very very first day that has helped me calm down when I'm frustrated. "By accustoming ourselves to uttering a prayer at the very moment we feel unjustly annoyed, we become better, more loving people" (3).
• Find Excuses for Behavior that Seems Unkind: N/A
• "Judge the Whole of a Person Favorably": I made a really good joke today. Someone said that the apples in the kitchen were going bad and I said that we still see the best in them...ok so maybe I was the only one who thought it was funny...
• Return Lost Objects: N/A
• "As Long as the Candle is Burning: N/A

Day 29: Don't "Steal" Another Person's Mind

It makes a lot more sense to think of today's value by it's Hebrew term: gneivat da'at. This essentially means that we shouldn't trick people. We shouldn't offer to do things for people if hope they turn us down, we shouldn't invite people to hang out in the hopes that they'll be busy when we're free, etc.

I became very self conscious about this today and spent a lot of time thinking about times when I intentionally or unintentionally may have "stolen someone's mind". Most of the things I thought of were inadvertent, very unintentional, but there were also things that I was thinking of that I knew I was doing but didn't stop. I'm certainly guilty of offering things to people that I hope they turn down. This will be something I'll have to pay attention to and hopefully nip in the bud in the future.

Light One Candle

Day 27: "As Long as the Candle Is Burning..."

It's never really too late. I'd wager a bet that the majority of us have something we've always wanted to say to someone, or something we've always wanted to do. Your candle is still burning, you've got time. But once that flame flickers out, your chances are all gone. And from this Jewish concept, I see the point of a Bucket List.

I've actually accomplished this goal pretty well. Yesterday specifically, I said something to someone that I really needed them to hear. And it may have been hard to say, but in the end I'm glad I did. I'm glad that person knows what I was thinking.

In the spirit of keeping my candle lit, I took a look at the college bucket lists my roommate and I made together. I have the next 3 years to check off the items on that list. And that's just my college candle! I got to thinking, none of us have just one candle. Our lives may be one candle, but they have many wicks or many different sections of wax to represent different periods in our lives.

"As long as the candle is burning, we can mend our relationships, our world, and ourselves" (39).

Finder's Keepers

Day 26: Return Lost Objects

It's pretty much intuitive: you see something that doesn't belong to you and you know someone is missing it. You want to return it to that person. But how? It's a thing of values, and there's an art to the returning of lost objects. Especially in Judaism. There are categories of lost things, proper ways to go about returning lost things, and ways to make sure you're returning the lost items to the right people.

Sadly, today, I didn't have the opportunity to practice this value. Everyone I saw had their stuff, and I didn't see anything missing an owner. It did get me thinking though: humans lose a lot of stuff over the course of their lives, but how much of it do we really miss? In the end, we gain back everything we may have missed. We replace valuables, we earn more money, but in the end it's all just more stuff. I didn't mean to go all Thoreau on you, but it's after midnight and I don't feel like cleaning off my bed. There's too much stuff on my bed...

Rose Colored Glasses

Day 25: "Judge the Whole of a Person Favorably"

It took me a while to grasp this concept completely. In fact it took me until my nightly Netflix plan to grasp this concept. There were two major times today when I thought about today's value, so I'll talk about both of those (you'll have to wait for the Netflix part).

As I was walking to my Comparative Literature class today, I began to think of the person who teaches it. They're very awkward and not exactly dynamic, but I reminded myself to see the best in them: they're incredibly knowledgeable, seemingly kind and accommodating, and their sense of humor isn't totally lacking. On the whole, I flipped my own image of this person into someone I could get along with easier.

Tonight, it really hit me when I was watching Friends on Netflix. I just finished season 4 and Rachel is trying so hard to get over her breakup with Ross so that she can accept Ross' marriage to a different woman named Emily. Phoebe, Rachel's friend, suggested that she remind herself of all of Ross' flaws in order to help her move on faster. This immediately struck the wrong cord with me. Of course I understand that this is a T.V. show and that even in real life, it would've been necessary for her to cope with her heartbreak, but it saddened me that she couldn't find a different way. Had I been in her shoes, I would gladly have thought of all of the good times "Ross" and I had had or all of the good things "Ross" had done. I would have accepted them, and then reminded myself that "Ross" was no longer mine. At least this way, it's possible to remember that "Ross" is a good person rather than force all his flaws on memories of him therefore erasing all the good ones.

Fighting Your Own Battles

Day 23: If You Have a Bad Temper (2)

Genius! Simple genius. "Restrict the expression of your anger to the incident that provoked it" (34). It's way too easy to make rash generalizations about people when you're angry. They always do this, they never remember that. It can't always be always and never. With anger it's always sometimes.

It's difficult to control how we think when we're angry. All of us have said things we regret but by restricting our anger to the single incident that made us angry, we are therefore limiting our own anger.

In conclusion of the temper sections, Will Rodgers once said "people who fly into a rage always make a bad landing."

Day 24: Find Excuses for Behavior That Seems Unkind

I feel so ahead of the game! I've been doing this for a couple years now and I have to say it's been very helpful in cooling myself down when things frustrate me. I think this is actually why I have the perception of myself I made in day 22.

The world is a place where not everyone can be happy all of the time (it's a sad but true fact). One never knows how their disposition will affect someone else, but it's important to remember that everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle. We have to cut people slack sometimes, right? I mean you wouldn't expect the woman whose mother just passed away to be thinking of calling up her friends to chat. We can't expect the teenager who got a bad grade on a test to be thinking straight when their parents ask them a simple question. We can't keep yelling at the car that cut us off three minutes ago, maybe he was headed to the hospital. We can't expect a lot of things from a lot of people who are all going through different situations.

This is just something to keep in mind the next time an action of someone around you offends you. Take a moment to step back and put yourself in their shoes. What would cause you to act the same way they did?

Wow, I'm sorry for the number of cliches and quotes in this entry but bli neder, every single one of them is justified.

Reflections and Temper

Day 21: Shabbat

This week proved to be the most difficult so far. All of the values presented to me were enormous tasks or didn't really apply to me, so I worry that I haven't succeeded in processing my New Year's resolutions as well as I should have.

• Don't Waste Time: I'm not sure how well I worked on this. I wasn't able to study Jewish texts this week but I certainly did use my time fairly efficiently to work on tasks for school.
• "Stay Away from a Bad Neighbor": This was made easier for me because this week was so crowded with work that I didn't really have an opportunity to socialize.
• The First Trait to Look for in a Spouse: N/A
• "Love Your Wife as Yourself": N/A
• Don't Speak Unless You Have Something to Say: Maybe I just always have something to say? And maybe I'm just really good at filtering?

Day 22: If You Have a Bad Temper (1)

It is said that there are 4 types of temperament:

1. Someone who is easily angered and easily appeased
2. Someone who is difficult to anger and difficult to appease
3. Someone who is difficult to anger and easy to appease
4. Someone who is easy to anger and difficult to appease

The third temperament is considered saintly while the fourth temperament is considered wicked. While I'd like to think that I'm the third, I'd like to think that others see me that way too. I know from experience that I'm very easy to appease, maybe to a fault sometimes. 

I had a task today: to remember the good deeds of the person who angered me and to put a positive spin on why they might be acting that way rather than blowing up and ruining our relationship. I had three perfectly good opportunities to fulfill this task and I failed at it twice. 

The first was at my own roommate who constantly wakes me up in the mornings. I'm ok though, I never say anything to her because I wouldn't want something so small to come between us, especially when I know I probably did the same thing to her last semester. In this case, I kept it bottled up and didn't think so much about why.

The second was at a girl I was working on a group project with who really truly upset me and as soon as I could, but I exploded when I was able to find a friend to vent to.

In all honesty, it's late and I can't remember the 3rd one, but I do remember taking a moment to reassess the situation and understand where that person was coming from. I calmed down a little bit and just smiled and went on my merry way.

I'm looking forward to trying part 2 of this section tomorrow!

A Chance to Talk

Day 20: Don't Speak Unless You Have Something to Say

This is not the same as don't speak unless you're spoken to. This is more along the lines of, if you have something to say, say it, if you don't, don't.

I tested this in my classes today. I'm usually the type of student who will speak up when a teacher asks a question if no other student says something. Today, I decided to try being the student who spoke up when she had something really helpful to add or a point to make.

I found that I felt like I was making a difference to the class rather than just helping the class move along. I had time to think out my points without feeling obligated to say anything. It felt very pressure free.

"It is better to remain silent and have people say, 'I wonder what he's thinking,' than to speak up and have people say, 'I wonder why he spoke.' "-Benjamin Disraeli

The One with Your Mother In-Law

Day 19: Respect Your In-Laws

Without thinking too hard, I'm sure all of us can come up with a situation we've witnessed where a spouse doesn't like their in-laws, or if not that, I'm sure you could easily remember a joke you were once told on the same topic.

I hate to say that I've witnessed this too. It disrupts family flow and tends to disappoint other members of the family.

Rabbi Telushkin provided us with a great example: Moses. I mean who better than Moses, right? Moses had the utmost amount of respect for his father in-law Jethro even though they weren't of the same people. Moses was quick to listen to everything Jethro said and even follow through on advice Jethro gave him.

[Insert Joke About Marriage Here]

Day 18: "Love Your Wife as Yourself"

Not only are we commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves, but the Talmud tells us we should love our spouses as ourselves. This is a beautiful concept and one that I hope (eventually) I'll be able to reciprocate.

Since I don't have much to say on this topic, I'd like to talk a little bit about another beautiful concept, but this one was told to me by "my friend the rebbetzin". She told me that she'd been learning from her rabbi that one of the paths to happiness is to think of 10 highlights of your life...and then think of 10 more. So, since I'm not capable of sharing my own words on the technical value of the day, I figured I'd share 10 of my highlights.

1. Attending the Jewish Day School in my area.
2. Bonding with my brother.
3. Learning things that I enjoy (e.g. Talmud, languages, education, etc.).
4. Traveling all over the U.S. and Israel.
5. Making my own big decisions.
6. Meeting people or running into people wherever I go.
7. Dancing.
8. Making my parents proud.
9. Learning to use my hands in creative ways (e.g. knitting, sewing, crocheting, writing, etc.).
10. Giving myself the opportunities to lead in different ways.

I think tomorrow is the last of the values having to do with marriage (for now at least), so I'll try to get back to normal writing soon.

Don't Marry the Bad Apple

Day 16: "Stay Away from a Bad Neighbor"

It's been proven: one bad apple can spoil a bushel. One person can influence an entire other group of people. That's how leaders come to power, that's how decisions are made, by one person influencing the others.

Friday's value was to know who would be good influences on you unlike Lot and everyone who ever followed Korach.

I've learned this this year. My floor is an open and wonderful community but there are still some people who keep to themselves. Earlier this year, one of the girls who kept to herself was found doing something that wasn't quite so reputable. Her roommate quickly recognized that this wasn't a healthy situation for her to be a part of, and moved into a different room on this floor.

Day 17: The First Trait to Look for in a Spouse

Not going to lie, I found it very ironic (on a very personal level) that today's value was this one. I've been watching my friends go on dates and occasionally been dealing with boys in my own life. Recently, I've even seen a few of my older friends become engaged and married. I'm in a weird place where people I know are getting engaged or into serious relationships and I just got out of one.

As I was reading what Rabbi Telushkin wrote, I became more and more excited. He spoke of Rebecca and how the first things we are told about her is of her generosity and of her kindness. From this, we can conclude that the first trait to look for in a spouse is kindness.

I honestly don't feel that this needs any embellishment: look for kindness and surround yourself with it.

Time Management and Reflections

Here we are! The end of the second week. So close to Shabbas and I'm feeling it. It's been a long week of LOTS of reading and concentration and all I really want is Shabbas. Here's my weekly reflection followed by my 15th mission.

Day 14: "Shabbat" (remember, it isn't actually Shabbat)

• Give Cheerfully: I've decided to volunteer for the MLK Jr. Day of Service this year. Thankfully Hillel is offering some fun looking options so I'm excited to serve with a smile.
• When a Person Says "I'm Hungry": N/A
• Don't Play Favorites: In memory of my great-great aunt (z"l), a rabbi recently told everyone at shiva, the following midrash located in the third paragraph: http://www.ravima.com/2012/01/shema-listen-we-are-israel/ 
• Don't Make Your Family Afraid of You: N/A
• Support Political Asylum: So much politics, so little time.
• Bless Your Children: N/A

Day 15: Don't Waste Time

How many times do you hear college students or teenagers talk about binge watching Netflix? or participating in activities that you wouldn't necessarily support? Don't you think there are better things we could be doing with our time?

Rabbi Telushkin talks to us today about the value of time. He tells us that every free moment should be spent studying Torah. This seems like a lot and I'd like to think that God would like us to have moments to decompress and relax a little bit even if our time would be best spent studying.

I kept track today of what I did at what times to see how much of my time I spent doing nothing useful. To be honest, I wish I hadn't done this on a Thursday because I have one class tomorrow as opposed to the three I usually have and therefore, didn't do work tonight. But here's what my day looked like:

• 7:30 wake up
• 7:30-9 finish readings for today's classes
• 9-9:20 shower and the process
• 9:20-9:55 Times of Israel browsing and Israeli music, getting dressed and ready for the day
• 10-10:55 breakfast, Netflix and more getting ready for the day
• 11-4 classes
• 4-5 internet and snack
• 5-7 dinner with a friend
• 7-8 homework
• 8-12 drawing, Netflix, hanging with friends
• 12-12:40 The Book of Jewish Values  blog and section for tomorrow

I'm glad that at least some of my time has spent studying Jewish texts but I see now that I could do more. I still think it's healthy to have some time to relax and I'm glad that working through this book was my new year's resolution, but I wish I had more resources to study a little bit more.

"We don't kill time, it kills us" (21).

Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, Oh My!

Day 13: Bless Your Children

If you entered my kitchen on any given Friday night, you'd see a tangled web of arms. My family's tradition is that once we've welcomed Shabbat, we stand (all 4 of us or whoever is home), and my dad blesses my brother and I with the priestly benediction. Over the years, I've taken this for granted. I'm actually very fortunate that I have parents who can bless me and that my parents care for me and I know that they truly mean their blessings.

I honestly think that this has been my favorite value to read this week. The rabbi explored different options for blessing your children such as calling children who are no longer home and giving them blessings over the phone or adding a personal message to each of your children after the blessing (this is something I hope to one day incorporate into my family).

I had a friend who felt so honored by his parents' blessings, that even when he was in Israel, he would call home before Shabbat to receive his parents' blessings.

This is something I've missed since going to college. I know my parents are thinking about me and praying for me but it's almost as if I've lost this cushion that I always knew I had when Shabbat came.

Happy Erev Thursday!

Yeah, Freedom Rocks.

Day 12: Support Political Asylum

I'm here in the U.S. I'm free to practice my religion, study subjects freely and from multiple perspectives, and free to be myself in general. Doesn't everyone deserve the chance to be themselves? Rabbi Telushkin makes the point that one of our obligations is to see that runaway slaves remain free.

Despite the incredibly difficult political situation that the U.S. is currently facing regarding immigration, I still tend to think idyllically. It seems easier to me to wish for freedom than to think through the politics of open immigration policy.

"[...] the Book of Exodus makes it clear that the Bible's ideal hope is for human beings to live in freedom" (18).

Ohana Means Family

Day 11: Don't Make Your Family Afraid of You

It is taught that a man who terrorizes his family sins in three ways: unchastity, bloodshed, and desecration of the Sabbath. By causing one's family to fear one, one might cause their spouse to seek love in the arms of another (unchastity), one might cause violence through acts of jealousy (bloodshed), and unrest on a restful day (desecration of the Sabbath).

Though I'm in college now and am no longer living with my biological family, I have created for myself a few small little "families": I have my School of Education "family" (my friends in classes), my floor family (my close friends on my floor), and my Shabbas "family" (mostly my Jewish friends).

Since members of these "families" are with me throughout the year, practically 24/7, they get to see both the best and the worst of me. They'll see me at my most stressed and at my most calm, but at the end of the day (no matter my mood), all I want is to still consider them my "family". Why would I risk that by treating them badly and using them as my outlets to take out my frustrations?

I'm Your Only and Favorite Daughter

Day 10: Don't Play Favorites

I've seen it a dozen times: kids feel that their parents favor their sibling over them. It's kind of heart breaking really. I've watched people who are near and dear to me feel distressed over their parent's relationship with their sibling.

Rabbi Telushkin is right, by favoring Joseph, Jacob's favoritism spiraled into condemning his descendants to slavery. If (in a worst case scenario) this is what favoritism can do to siblings, why would any parent show their true feelings if they do indeed have a favorite?

As a student intent on becoming a teacher, I've heard a lot about not choosing specific students as my favorites despite the fact that there will be students I like more than others. If I'm lucky enough as an adult to be playing a mentoring role in the lives of children, I'd rather impact them all positively and teach them to work cohesively than condemn them to classroom anarchy.

Hunger Pains

Day 9: When a Person Says "I'm Hungry"

We are told that we should always feed a beggar who says "I'm hungry". I believe that this is true, hunger pains become intolerable for me and I wouldn't want anyone else to suffer the way I do when I feel hungry.

I have not yet been able to give food to a beggar on the street (I have cooked for shelters before) but one day I plan on keeping a box of granola bars in my car so that if I need to, I can pass a bissel of food to a person in need.

***Today is actually day 10 but I didn't get to post for day 9 so tonight I will post day 10***

Charity and Reflections

Day 7: Shabbat

Ok, we know it isn't actually Shabbat but it is the 7th day of this project and I'll be treating each "7th day" as if it were Shabbat. The rabbi has assigned a day of reflection for each Shabbat so that's what I'll be doing here. My 7th day posts will be spaces for me to put any reflective material on values I learned this week or in previous weeks. So here goes! (I apologize in advance for the length of this post.)

• When You Hear a Siren: The day after I wrote this post, I was at a funeral for one of my beloved relatives. My family was a part of the funeral procession. As we were beginning to leave the synagogue to go to the cemetery, I heard the siren of a police car. I immediately prayed for the safety of the people who needed the police. As we left the parking lot of the shul, I realized that the sirens were for us. We had a police escort with us all the way to the cemetery. It was a strange and wonderful feeling that even though the siren had been for my family, I had treated it as if I were completely distant from the situation.
• "Let Your Fellow's Money Be as Precious to You as Your Own": N/A
• The Purchase That is Always Forbidden: N/A
• "What Would God Want Me to Do?": The relevance of this question to every day life is coming to light for me. This clearly isn't just about cheating, this is about modesty, language, how we carry ourselves in front of others. I think so far, this has been the most challenging value to consider because it has so many facets.
• Be Generous Even When Your Instincts Are Lazy: There's a certain category of clothing I've just grown out of, one that people usually don't donate. However, instead of throwing away all of these clothes, I've gone online to research giving mine away to other people. Even just the thought of giving these garments away as opposed to throwing them away has made me feel even more fulfilled.
• When You're Tempted to Cheat: see "What Would God Want Me to Do?"

Day 8: Give Cheerfully

I have a friend who greatly admires Rambam, so when I read day 8, my first thought was MY FRIEND LOVES AND EMBODIES THIS so today is dedicated to him.

Day 8 is all about giving charity in the right frame of mind. You should be hopeful for the person's situation and wish them well. This is based on a passage Rambam wrote saying that charity given in a grumpy mindset has no merit to it. In order for charity to have merit, it must be given to him "with good grace and with joy" and the person giving the charity "should sympathize with him in his plight" and "should speak to him words of consolation and sympathy."

This friend of mine has always inspired me by doing just that. Without a second thought, he'll give charity to those in need, if not directly than through a collection. I've always wanted to exemplify that quality of his so tonight, when I was at a Kosher candy store, I donated some change to the store's tzedakah box even though I didn't actually purchase anything from the store. As I put the change in the box, I thought about the person who might benefit from my charity. I said a little prayer in my mind and focused my attention on that moment.

"You can always give something, even if it is only kindness."-Anne Frank

On that note, I've really enjoyed week 1 and I look forward to every remaining day and everything I have yet to learn!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Day 6: When You're Tempted to Cheat

I totally cheated. It was an accident! Everyone cheats on their new year's resolutions...right? Well I didn't mean to. The point of today was to remember that all of your actions are seen by someone else (hint: God).

This was supposed to be specific in related to cheating and making good decisions, and yet, today I failed. I was playing a game of Words with Friends with my cousin and I had the worst round of letters. I went to a Scrabble cheat website and used one of the words it generated for me. I should have just made do with the letters I had rather than make a fuss about catching up to her ever growing score.

As a side story, when my dad was little, his rabbi called home asking to talk to his father (my grandfather). My dad told the rabbi that he was home alone. The rabbi proceeded to tell him that he is never alone. This spooked my dad so much because as a child, he didn't understand the concept of God being omnipresent. So, after all this ado, today's quote is:

"Know what is above you: an eye that sees..."-Pirkei Avot 2:1

***As tomorrow is the 7th day of the project (and therefore the value assigned is "Shabbat") I will use tomorrow as it suggests: to summarize my progress and see how this week has gone. I will also do day 8 tomorrow and continue with my project.***

Give a Little Bit

Day 5: Be Generous Even When Your Instincts Are Lazy

Every year, almost every season, in fact at this very moment, I am in the process of going through my wardrobe and weeding out the garments that no longer fit me. These clothes will be donated to an organization along with clothes that my parents are giving away. It didn't occur to me, until I was reading day 5, that this is an act of generosity. To me, it's decency, the right thing to do: if someone else doesn't have, you should help them to have.

Day 5 is all about reminding yourself that easy and right are not synonymous. Therefore, the easy thing to do is not necessarily the right thing to do.

"Doing good for others can sometimes require special thought and effort" (10).

WWGWMTD?

Day 4: "What Would God Want Me to Do?"

This seems pretty straight forward right? I mean, if you have the choice between watching someone sit alone at lunch or inviting them to join you, I would hope you'd invite them to join you. The point of day 4 is to preform acts of kindness. Not necessarily random acts of kindness, not even kindnesses at all, just acts of human decency.

All day, I had a plethora of opportunities to help people. I ran errands with my mom and then with my dad, and I had interactions with both my parents as well as the people who helped us in the stores.
So for my own sake, I'll make a list of the things I tried to do when I asked myself WWGWMTD?

• My dad and I saw a car crash in which no one appeared to be injured. The driver I saw was a girl who seemed to be my age. We didn't have the opportunity to stop and see if they needed help, but I did voice my concerns to my dad to see what would come of my words.
• A few store clerks at different stores made some mistakes (e.g. forgetting to include part of our purchase; using the wrong part to repair my iPod; sharing personal information in a loud voice publicly;), but I tried to be as calm as possible even when I was frustrated the most.
• I was patient with my dad while trying to teach him how to use a technological device.
• I made sure to wave and say "Happy New Year" to a peer from school who I haven't seen in a while.
• I responded to everyone who chatted me in as timely a manner as possible.

I found this question to be helpful beyond belief. For the first time, while reading this passage, I was able to think of this question in a Jewish context rather than a Christian one. I hope to continue thinking like this throughout life, it was a helpful (for lack of a better term) censor.

"[...] Jewish tradition teaches that offering one's time and one's heart represents the highest type of giving" (8).

Here's to HeLa!

Day 3: The Purchase That is Always Forbidden

I'm in the middle of a really good book...aside from The Book of Jewish Values. It's captivating, easy to read, and (surprisingly for me) nonfiction. It's a book called The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot.

Since these two books don't have much in common, I didn't expect to be drawing connections like the one I discovered this morning while sitting in a Boeing aircraft somewhere between Indianapolis and Washington D.C.

Henrietta Lacks was an African-American woman who died of a rare and aggressive form of cervical cancer in the early 1950's. Her doctor took some cells without asking or telling her or her family. These cells were discovered to be the only cells that doctors had successfully kept alive outside of a human body. HeLa cells (named after Henrietta Lacks) have been behind all types of lifesaving vaccines, medications, and treatments, and this woman was never given credit for the wonderful and amazing things her cells were doing.

Last night, as I sat down to read my "mission" for day 3, I never expected to find that the Rabbi's discussion of piracy and the Jewish view as to why piracy is wrong relevant to a book that has already really impacted me and the way I think about science and medicine.

Rabbi Telushkin brings proofs from Bava Kamma and Proverbs to enforce the wrongdoing in piracy. He concludes by telling his audience that "if someone is trying to sell you something that is not his to sell--whether goods or information--you have no right to buy" (7).

As much as I wish I could thank Henrietta Lacks for what she and her cells (and her family) have done for my generation and every generation to come, while reading this book, I can't help but apologize on behalf of the doctors who "pirated" Mrs. Lacks' cells and sold them to labs all over the world. Maybe they could've used a good D'var Torah on Jewish values...

The Value of a Dollar

Day 2: "Let Your Fellow's Money Be as Precious to You as Your Own"

I'm beginning to see that there will be many values in this book that I personally will not or don't currently have the chance to act on. Being honest in business dealings would be one of those values.

Rabbi Telushkin tells us to handle our fellows’ money as if their money was ours; to act honestly in business dealings always. This value stems from Vayikra 19:18: ואהבת לרעך כמוך, Love your neighbor as yourself.

The Talmud tells us that the first question we will be asked in heaven will not be about our religiosity or our observance of Judaism. The first question we will be asked will about how honest we were in our business transactions. This is both marvelous and confounding to me, and I hope that by the time I am ready to answer this question, I will have had the opportunity to be honest in my business.

Since part of this project is about finding ways that these values relate to my life, the closest I can think of is the summer internship and job applications I have been and will be filling out. I wouldn’t want to lie on my resume and I haven’t so far. I know this seems like a childish comparison, but I’ll take any opportunity I have to be honest in a business capacity.

"Only he who is reliable in money matters may be considered pious."-Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch Koidonover

Honk Honk Beep Beep

Day 1: On Hearing a Siren

Rabbi Telushkin’s first day is dedicated to changing our first reaction when we hear the siren of a fire truck, ambulance, or other emergency vehicle. He points out that all too often, our reactions are those of annoyance rather than prayer.

One of my teachers in high school pointed this out to our class as well. He told us to imagine how different a place the world would be if, during traffic reports on the radio, announcers told us to take a moment to pray for those in need of the emergency vehicle. Our society would be much more caring.

I have to admit, I cheated a little bit on this one. Years ago, when I was first given this book, I read this section and it forever changed the way I reacted to sirens. I changed the way I thought and for years now, my first reaction when I hear a siren is “I hope everyone is okay” or “I hope the people in need of that siren are safe.”

The feeling of stress associated with traffic jams caused by fire trucks and police cars and the fear I used to feel when the start of a siren would make me jump out of my skin, have melted away. I no longer think of how the siren is impacting my life and my moment, instead I think of how the siren will be helping someone else or saving someone else’s life.

"By accustoming ourselves to uttering a prayer at the very moment we feel unjustly annoyed, we become better, more loving people" (3).