And With That, I Bid 2015 Adieu!

[Week 47]

• Learning to Keep Your Envy in Check: I don't remember...
• Don't Get Used to Other People's Suffering: How can we get used to humans, or even animals, being treated poorly? We should always feel uncomfortable when we hear of the suffering of any living thing.
• What's Wrong with Your Life? What's Right?: While it's easy to complain about everything going wrong, don't forget about everything that's going well!
• Shiva, the Final Act of Gratitude: Don't discount it. Shiva is an act of gratitude and respect and should be treated and continued on as such.
• Repentance Is Good--Overrepentance Is Not: It's good to be apologetic when you have something to apologize for. But when you've already apologized and been forgiven, why continue to breach the subject? I should really be taking my granny's advice and only apologize when I have something to apologize for.
• Don't Stereotype Groups: Incredibly self-explanatory.

[Week 48]

• Raising Your Children to Love Both Themselves and Others: How can I not remember this one? This seems like something that is so totallly up my alley. All right, another section to reread.
• Watch Your...Compliments: I don't remember necessarily what this section was about but I do remember seeing somewhere recently that compliments should be deeper and more meaningful than just an "I like your shirt."
• When Legal Doesn't Equal Moral: I hope we're all aware that in a lot of cases, the law isn't moral and that we should use our hearts as well as our heads to solve problems.
• Using Your Evil Urge to Do Good: We all have persuasions to do bad things. What we should be doing is channeling those urges into doing good. It's simply a matter of refocusing your energy.
• Let Your Word, Not Your Oath, Be Your Bond: You should be so trustworthy that people believe what you say without you having to "swear you're telling the truth."
• Never Insult Another: Self-explanatory.

[Week 49]

• When Is It Permitted to Pass On Negative Information About Another?: Is it really necessary?
• Passing On Negative Information When a Couple Are Dating: The Four Guidelines of the Chaffetz Chayyim: I don't remember the guidelines, but I do remember that if it is important for the person to know, it's okay. Especially if it's something that might change the dynamic of the relationship.
• Telling Your Children "I'm Sorry": It's important for parents to show their children that apologizing is for everyone, even if it's hard to do or say. This is especially true when parents owe their children an apology, a humbling experience.
• Make Time for Your Children: Self-explanatory, I agree.
• "You Must Not Remain Indifferent": I don't remember.
• When You Learn Torah, Use It: Also self-explanatory. What good is knowledge if you don't apply it to your life?

[Week 50]

• One Who Calls Another Person by a Cruel Nickname: What gives them the right? Being called by a nickname is an experience that sticks with a person for a long time. That's why I went from being "Hannah Banana" to being "Hannah Only" at only 3 years of age...
• When Anonymous Giving Is Not Good: To save the other person the embarrassment of having their situation somewhat publicly known.
• Do You Owe Your Children an Inheritance?: I don't remember...
• "One Who Is Bashful Will Never Learn": It's good to ask questions. Always. The only stupid questions are the ones that aren't asked.
• Study Judaism Fifteen Minutes a Day...Starting Now: Reason #1 why I loved this resolution. It was fulfilling. I hope to continue learning about Judaism every day in the future through different projects!
• Random Acts of Kindness: I'm a big fan.

[Week 51]

• A Particularly Evil Form of Stealing: I remember reading this section but I don't remember the resolution...
• A Husband's Obligations to His Wife: Clothing, housing, and marital relations.
• Don't Insult Your Spouse: In Judaism, we care about the emotions of everything (from our fellows to our challah), so naturally, we should be caring for the feelings of our spouses.
• Jews Shouldn't Be Cheap; Jewish Funerals Should Be: From dust we are and to dust we shall return. We are earthly beings while our bodies will decompose, our souls are eternal. Therefore, our bodies don't need extravagant homes in the world-to-come.
• The Holiness of Laughter: A single laugh can change a day or even a life. We should never doubt the power or the holiness of laughter when laughter preserves lives.

[Week 52]

• Unfair Competition: I don't remember...
• Would Jewish Ethics Permit a Jew to Own a Gun Store?: Only if the store owner knew for sure that none of his guns would be used for violence or wrongdoings.
• Wronging with Words: I don't remember...
• The Telephone as an Instrument for Good: We should use telephones to keep in touch, to check in on the elderly or sick loved ones, etc. rather than just exchanging gossip.
• Torah Study and the Importance of Review: We just learned that we should be using what we learn, but what if we forget? That's why we review!
• A Week of Kindness, a Week of Gemilut Chesed: Keep the acts of kindness going for a whole week. I started today by giving a homeless man a bag of pretzels.

SHABBAT SHALOM!

So Close but Yet So Far

[Week 41]

• How to Avoid Giving in to Temptation: Remove the temptation! It's been so helpful for me. I've been trying to apply this one more and more to my life. For example, today, after my dentist's appointment, I had the opportunity to go buy a beautiful, sweet, delicious hamentaschen because I had some time before I had to be at my next thing. But I knew I didn't need it. So, rather than walk into the store and decide in the store if I wanted it, I just drove away. It might sound funny, but it was a personal challenge. I really like hamentaschen.
• When You're Tempted to Do Something Wrong: I don't remember...
• When There Is No Shalom Bayit in Your Bayit: Work towards it, and if you can't achieve it, then it's time to look at other solutions.
• When Jewish Law Permits a Person to Be Publicly Shamed: I think this one is when a parent deserts their child.
• The Limits of God's Forgiveness: I remember loving this one and yet I don't remember the limits.
• It's Not Enough to Be Nice, Timing Also Matters: It's good to be nice, but you should always (rather than selectively) be nice.

[Week 42]

• Help Non-Jews as Well as Jews: All humans were created in G-d's image, so no human is any more or less deserving of our help.
• The Final Words a Jew Should Speak: The confessional, the vidui.
• Should a Jew Donate His Organs?: I don't remember...
• Listen...Really Listen: I've been making more of an effort recently. It's really challenging in this world to be fully present and hanging on to every word someone says, but if I just put my phone away and on silent, I know I can do it.
• How Not to Teach Torah: Don't make it a punishment. Make it sweet.
• Charity, Idolatry, and Deafness: I remember....but I don't!

[Week 43]

• Sanctifying the Secular: Not everything has to be spiritual or religious for it be sanctified, blessed, or connected to our spiritual sides. 
• Don't Be a Racist: Yeah, just don't be.
• Never Practice Ingratitude: Make sure to say 'thank you' whenever possible.
• Raising Truthful Children: Set a good example, don't ask your children to lie for you.
• Empathy Is Not Natural: I don't remember...
• Express Your Gratitude to the People Nearest to You...Now: As we were saying before, make sure to say some 'thank you's. 

[Week 44]

• Learning to Say "I Need": It's okay to make sure you're being cared for, but you can't expect others to just know. It's okay to speak up for yourself when you need to.
• When Anonymous Giving Is Important, and When It Is Not: Sometimes, it's actually more important that the person you are giving to knows who is giving them the gift. That way, they are saved embarrassment because they know that there is only one person trying to help them through their situation.
• When Silence Is Criminal: When you have information that could be used to save another from harm or false imprisonment.
• If You Learn That Someone Is Intending to Hurt Another: Share the information and try to prevent the harm. 
• "You Are Not as Good as You Think You Are, and the World Is Not as Bad as You Think It Is": Very self-explanatory. A good reminder that we should be humble and have hope, always.
• When Pious Words Are Irreligious: If you don't think pious words would comfort you when you are distressed, don't use them to comfort another.

[Week 45]

• When a Half-Truth Becomes a Whole Lie: I'm not sure...
• Is Your Blood Redder?: No, we were all made b'tzelem Elokim.
• Should There Be a Limit to Parental Love?: I don't remember...
• Teach Your Child Survival Skills: We are required to teach our children to swim, therefore, we should teach our children the skills they need in order to survive.
• The Most Perfect Act of Kindness: I don't remember...
• A Ritual Way to Make Each of Your Children Feel Special: Bless each child individually...I think...?

[Week 46]

• A Time for Silence: I don't remember...
• When Praising Someone Is the Wrong Thing to Do: Don't praise someone in front of someone else who doesn't like that first person. You're just provoking that person.
• You and Your Ex: I remember how impactful this section was because I read it at an important time for me. Just like the section says, I acknowledge that I will always love someone I once loved, but that doesn't mean I need to hold on to them forever. Especially when I can be respectful from a distance and when I know it isn't healthy to be with him anymore.
• Solomon's Sword: How to Determine a Child's Best Interests: I remember liking this section and sharing it with my brother but now I can't remember...
• The Special Obligation of Adoptive Parents: To love and care for the adopted child as if he were a biological child.
• Don't Speak Lashon Hara About Yourself: Again, fairly self-explanatory: have some self respect.

And in [not yet a] Conclusion...

[Week 37]

• Rabbenu Gershom and the Prohibition Against Being a Snoop: Of all things I remember about Rabbenu Gershom, I don't remember this prohibition...
• Be Generous with Power: Might as well use whatever power you have to do good, right?
• When Silence Is Golden: This has nothing to do with "silence is golden but duct tape is silver", right?
• Learn Even from Those with Whom You Disagree: The most intelligent and wise of all people are the people who can learn something from everyone. This includes people you don't agree with because even they have something to teach you.
• Revenge and the Command to Love Your Neighbor: I don't remember...
• Who Is a Hero? A Jewish Perspective: A hero is someone who conquers his inclinations. Simple, right?

[Week 38]

• Accidents Do Happen: Yes they do, but I don't remember what this section says about them...
• When an Accident Is No Accident: I don't remember...
• Don't Be a Mitzvah Hero at Someone Else's Expense: Be sensitive in how you fulfill commandments. If doing a mitzvah to its fullest extent is hurting someone else, cut back.
• Speak Truth to Power: I don't remember...
• Just How Much Are You Supposed to Fear God?: I don't remember, but I should definitely reread this section...
• Don't Mouth Pious Platitudes: Don't feign piety. Piety will shine through your actions and your words and your beliefs. Your piety cannot help others to believe that everything will be okay, with a little faith in G-d, they'll believe He'll help them too.

[Week 39]

• Do a Favor...for Your Enemy: I don't remember and I know this would be difficult just from the title, but I like the idea.
• Maimonides, Art Buchwald, and the Importance of Every Deed: I don't remember...
• When You Have Been Sinned Against: Your Obligation: Forgive. As far as I remember...
• A Nightly Prayer Before Going to Sleep: Ribono Shel Olam is part of the bedtime Shema. It forgives anyone who may have angered us.
• Don't Let Your Child Humiliate Another Child: What are we teaching our children by letting them bully others? Teach them the value of human life and the significance of being kind and one created in His image.
• What the Fifth Commandment Demands of Parents: I don't remember what was said but I do remember liking this one. Another one I'll have to reread.

[Week 40]

• Make Your Celebration a Cause for Everyone to Celebrate: If you have cause to celebrate, make sure others can celebrate with you. I didn't phrase that well, but I mean that there are ways to make your celebration accessible and giving rather than just an exclusive event.
• On Not Embarrassing the Recipient: I totally remember this and yet I don't know how to sum it up!
• Is There Someone You're Ignoring Whom You Should Ask for Forgiveness?: I remember reading this passage and having it impact me so wholly that I did actually ask forgiveness from someone.
• Don't Forgive on Other People's Behalf: No one can forgive someone on behalf of another person. Forgiveness must come directly from the person who has been hurt or offended.
• The Punishment of One Who Humiliates Another: I don't remember...
• When You Can't Give Money: Try to give something else? I recently gave away a box of Tic Tacs to a homeless woman rather than money.

Taking Care of Business!

I don't think it's a cop-out to say that I don't remember. The point of this exercise is to understand what stuck with me after reading this book. One day, maybe I'll remember it all, but for now, I'm going to feel comfortable saying that I can't remember every single section.

[Week 32]

• Question to Ask Yourself Before You Criticize Another: I don't remember the question but I remember liking the section...
• Knowing When to Step Aside: Again, I remember this section really resonating with me but I can't explain what it's about...
• When You've Judged Another Unfairly: Wow, I know this period of 2015 was really rough for me but I didn't expect to remember so little...
• "Therefore Was Man Created Singly": All about individualism and Judaism and how important we each are and how we were created in G-d's image!
• "If Someone Wishes to Kill You, Get Up Early and Kill Him First": Arguably one of Judaism's most aggressive teachings. But, if your health or safety is in danger, do what you must do to change the situation.
• Be Conscious of the Goodness and Sweetness in Others: I don't remember the actual section but I do remember that it's a good thing to acknowledge the positives in other people's characters.

[Week 33]

• The Good That You Do Lives On: Though we may think what we do in our lives now has no impact on the world that will continue after us, we are incorrect. Our legacy will live on through the lives of those people we have impacted.
• When It's Right to Be Early: Isn't it always...?
• "His Mercy Is Upon All His Works": I don't remember...
• Be Kind to Your Enemy's Animal: Even if you don't like the person, don't take it out on their animal. If you see your enemy's animal is suffering, ease its pain.
• "Seek Peace and Pursue It": Ohev shalom v'rodef shalom, we see this everywhere and it's basically how we operate! We should love peace, want peace, and work towards peace.
• On Loving Yourself: Through the commandment to love each other as we love ourselves, we are also commanded to love ourselves. Don't forget that!

[Week 34]

• "There Is No Messenger in a Case of Sin": I don't remember...
• The Power of Goodness: Goodness is powerful. More so than we know.
• Teach Your Child a Profession: Make sure your child is prepared to go out into the world. Give them the help they need and make sure they know you are there to support them.
• Teach Your Child That What Matters Most to God is Goodness: Help your child show G-d that material things etc. don't matter to G-d the same way that the goodness of a person matters.
• Don't Give Away Too Much: Make sure you are still taken care of after you've given charity.
• Can a Religious Person Be Cruel?: Yes, but I don't remember what the stipulations here were.

[Week 35]

• The Antidote to Arrogance: Learn? I don't remember...
• Don't Pretend to Virtues You Don't Have: Be honest with yourself and with others.
• "Love Your Neighbor": What Is the Neighbor's Responsibility?: I don't remember...
• "Honor Your Father and Mother": The Surprising Wording of the Biblical Commandment: I've learned this so many times but I don't remember what the book focused on as opposed to what I've learned in the past. 
• If Parents Become Senile: We should still love and respect them and care for them?
• How to Learn Empathy: I don't remember how but I know we should...

[Week 36]

• Don't Snap at Your Spouse: Shalom Bayit is something we should value and work towards and that includes having a smooth and loving relationship with those you live with.
• Are You in an Abusive Relationship?: If you are, please, let me help you get help. If you don't know whether or not you are, chance are, you are. Please let's get you help.
• Don't Be an Elitist: It's a state of mind we should be working to change.
• Don't Encourage Your Children to Date Wealthy People: Let your children love who they love without giving thought to status or money. 
• The Painful, Challenging, Question Parents Must Ask Children: And yet, I don't remember it...
• Marriage Is Also Supposed to Be Fun: I hope it will be. I hope to marry my best friend, I hope others are marrying their best friend. Marriage is fun when you remember your spouse is also your friend...or so I would assume...

Bli Neder, We're Almost Done

Happy 2016!

I arrived back in my homeland (notice I didn't say Homeland) yesterday. After sleeping for about 11 hours total, I believe I might actually be over the jet lag. Though this trip was very different and much more regimented than the previous trips I've been on, I had a blast seeing Israel through the eyes of my peers who are just now beginning to establish a connection to Judaism or to Israel in very different ways.

So here I am, back online, ready to formally complete the project I began over a year ago. Before I left, I completed the 26 out of 52 weeks covered in the book. Which (I only just discovered a second ago) is exactly half a year! I really should calculate math faster... So let's talk now about the second half of the year through the lens of Jewish ethics!

[Week 27]

• Help Someone to Find a Spouse, Help Someone to Find Work: I remember both being very good things to do, like a blessing that you've contributed to their lives.
• Do Good...Now: What's stopping you from doing good now? That's the point. Every little act of kindness adds up, and they're so easy to do.
• Teach Your Child Torah: We, as Jews, value education. We also value Jewish education. That is how we are supposed to continue our traditions. That is what mesorah is. We need educated children to continue upholding the commandments or just to live Jewish lives.
• Teach Your Child the Value of Human Life: I'd be interested in exploring methods of teaching children the value of human life, but it is definitely a value I want my children to hold dear.
• A Pragmatic Reason for Forgiving Others: I don't remember the reason, but according to my own philosophy, holding grudges takes too much effort and it's a waste of my energy.
• Charity Is Not Enough: I don't remember...

[Week 28]

• Find Work for the Developmentally Disabled: I remember this one because my cousin is developmentally disabled! I also know that there are a lot of organizations out there that focus on helping the developmentally disabled find jobs. There's a bakery in my hometown that does that actually. The cookies are really good.
• An Employer Must Know How His Employees Live: If a good leader needs ethos, pathos, and logos, I would think a good employer would need the same traits.
• Confession and Your Neighbor's Soul: Okay, not a clue...
• How Can One Repent Who Has Committed the Ultimate and Unforgivable Sin?: This one is definitely a section I'll reread, I think I need to.
• When a Jew Acts Dishonestly Toward a Non-Jew: ...he sets a precedent in that non-Jew's mind as to what a Jew is, and that's not okay.
• One Boss in a Million: I don't remember...

[Week 29]

• Have You Written an Ethical Will?: I got really excited about this because the week before the end of the semester, my rabbi gave a d'var Torah that reminded me of this section! 
• Three Traits That Reveal Your Character: Is this the one about anger, drink, and charity? If not, I can't remember this section but I feel like I enjoyed it...
• "Until the Day of One's Death": Not remembering...
• When the Old Become Frail: Not remembering...
• Beyond the Letter of the Law: Also not remembering...Geez, what happened during week 29 that I can't remember what I read? Oh...now I remember....
• Consult with Your Spouse, Consult with Your Friends: Consulting with loved ones is a sign of respect. Additionally, they can help you make a more educated and wise decision than one you might have arrived at alone.

[Week 30]

• "The Dust of Forbidden Speech": Not sure I remember...
• A Twenty-Four-Hour Experiment: If this is the section about not speaking lashon hara for a full day, then I remember it well. I wanted to try to do this and a complaining fast during my Israel trip. It went fairly well I think but still, I can always improve. 
• Don't Bear a Grudge: I know I seem to talk about my rabbi and rebbetzin a lot, but they've had a big impact on me. One of the things my rabbi likes to say is that holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
• Pick Up Stumbling Blocks: If you can make someone else's life easier or more pleasant, you should do it!
• The Limits of Self-Sacrifice: Judaism does not ask that we hurt ourselves or that we become martyr's in G-d's name. We value life: the lives of others and our own.
• "Go and Gather the Feathers": Once you've said something to others, you can never take it back.

[Week 31]

• Make Sure You Have a Friend Who Can Criticize You: I remember what I was going through when I read this section and it honestly turned around how I was thinking about the situation I was in. I am incredibly lucky to have multiple friends who can tell me when I'm messing up and when I need to figure out what I'm going through. But more than that, I'm incredibly lucky to have friends who will help me through it and help me find a solution.
• Bar Mitzvahs and Bat Mitzvahs, and the Need for a New Kind of Hero: With two more of my family's b'nai mitzvahs underway, we desperately need a new kind of bar mitzvah: one that puts more of an emphasis on the "mitzvah" part.
• Start Your Day with Gratitude: Thank G-d for the good in your life as you open your eyes each morning. That, in itself, is a small miracle. Plus, starting your day with gratitude will give you a more open mind and a happier demeanor.
• If You Have a Tendency to Complain About Others: Try your hardest not to! 
• Respect Your Family's Privacy: Knock before you enter a room and don't pry if they don't want to volunteer information.
• "What Does a Good Guest Say?": Start with "thank you" and work from there.