Day 216: "What Does a Good Guest Say?"
I'm totally guilty as charged. After I leave someone's house for dinner, I look forward to commenting on the evening with my family. Granted, it usually doesn't involve seriously bashing anyone or insulting anyone, but we could probably usually be kinder in our comments.
This goes further than dissing Sarah's salmon recipe, or the manners of little Menachem. This is about kindness, and treating others as you'd like to be treated. I realized after reading this section that most people do this. And the thought of someone leaving my house and critiquing me, after I've worked so hard to clean the house and cook the food and set the table, is kind of painful.
Rabbi Telushkin suggests simply not commenting. Or, if you would like to comment on your evening, wait 24 hours and your comments may be more fair or friendly. However you choose to do it, do your best to start with gratitude just as Ben Zoma suggests (keeping with the "attitude of gratitude" theme of this week). Start your comments with "how much trouble has my host gone to for me" and continue from there.
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