When we think of our loved ones, or at least when I do, I pray that no harm comes to them, that they remain happy and healthy, that they travel safely, etc.
And I generally believe that, heaven forbid, it was a question of my loved ones' lives or mine, I'd rather they live. Judaism however, believes that you have a duty to yourself before others in cases of triage. It is more important that you live, you don't have to be a martyr to save the life of your friend. I'm not sure that Judaism frowns upon saving the life of your friend instead of your own, but it is certainly not required of you.
Day 209: "Go and Gather the Feathers"
I don't think it would have been possible to have made it through 13 years of Jewish day school and youth groups without having heard this story: http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/812861/jewish/A-Pillow-Full-of-Feathers.htm.
It is difficult to realize the consequences of things you say, I know I'm not always aware of the impact of things I say before I say them. I think it's a skill to hone, filtering your thoughts and knowing and understanding what is appropriate and what isn't. A lifelong challenge, I'm sure, but a challenge worth attempting to complete.
"[...] before you speak negatively, and perhaps unfairly, of others, make sure you are not spreading feathers to the wind, feathers that you will never be able to retrieve" (300).
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